say something
by annabellemanix
Summary: daikeru/takesuke.....takeru is depressed and fed up with being expected to be the perfect child....daisuke is worried about him and goes looking for him


disclaimer~ no....sadly, I don't own Digimon or any of it's characters...if I did, there would be none of this Takeru loves Hikari or Daisuke loves Hikari business....nope...it'd be all Dai and Keru! ^_^ if anyone decides to sue me, I guarantee you, you won't get much, so...it's really not worth the trouble...

a/n ~ this is a daikeru ... which means yaoi/shonen ai for those of you who don't know....if you don't like this kind of thing, you can find the nearest exit by clicking the back button on your browser window. if not, enjoy the story..... reviews are nice...flame if you want, I really don't care...although it's a BIT too hot for fire 'round here right now! 

~*~SAY SOMETHING~*~

by: annabelle manix

takeru pov

~~~~~~~~~~

How long have I lying here in this bed? I don't know...I don't even care. I don't really care about _anything_ anymore lately. Nothing seems to matter or hold any meaning to me like it used to. So, I just continue lying here, staring numbly at the ceiling above my bed thinking about how I could have done things differently so they didn't end up this horribly. But, it's really no use...what's done is done and there's nothing I can do to change anything that happened. I don't know why I even bother dwelling on it. I suppose it's because I can't help but think about it...think about _him_...about how I have no chance in _hell..._Ah, it's useless...why do I do this? I have to stop pitying myself. I'm so pathetic...I really am.

My mom has been away on business for awhile, so I don't have her here worrying about me and asking what's wrong. The phone keeps ringing, but I haven't picked it up...I just let the answering machine get it. I can vaguely hear the concerned voices of my friends as they leave message after message asking where I've been, but I'm in too much of a daze to actually realize what they're saying. And I haven't been to school in... what, a week? I don't know, I haven't really been keeping track. I'm not even sure what day it is, to tell you the truth.

No one expected me to ever feel like this...to have these emotions. It's like Takaishi Takeru wasn't _allowed _to feel the emotions like hurt, despair, depression, anger, sadness, or any other negative ones. I'm only supposed to have cheerful, positive emotions and feelings like hope, joy, optimism, and all that other good stuff. Well, I _hate_ it...I hate being cast into this role of the 'good little boy' who has the epitome of the perfect life because...well, _no one _has the perfect life. And no one should be expected to live up to that perfection, so why should I? 

I guess maybe I fucked up my life on purpose just to spite everyone because I resented the fact that I was expected to live up to these perfect standards. I mean, who are they to tell me how to live my life? I want to be able to feel, think, or do whatever I want without having to worry if I'm living up to some certain, stupid standard that was set by somebody. I don't want to be perfect...I'm not perfect...I never was perfect...I never will be perfect...no one is perfect...I hate that word_...perfect_...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

daisuke pov

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Where the hell has Takeru been? He hasn't been in school for over a week, and I've called his house over a dozen times but all I get is that damn answering machine. No one seems to know what happened to him, and I'm starting to get pretty worried about him. His older brother, Yamato, has a spare key to Takeru's apartment, so he said that after school today, me, him and his boyfriend, Yagami Taichi could go to his place and see if he's there and if he's okay. I really hope he is...Takeru's my best friend and I don't know what I'd do if something happened to him.

Before he 'disappeared' he kind of became a little distant...he didn't seem to be the same cheerful Takeru that I was used to. I thought that maybe it was just something like a fight with his mom or a bad mark on an exam. But now that he hasn't shown up anywhere in over a week, I'm beginning to worry. I mean, what happened to turn the cheery, happy Takeru into a sad and angst-filled one who is all of a sudden just nowhere to be found? It must've been something bad because that sure is a drastic change.

And it kind of hurts that he didn't come to me and let me know that something was bothering him. We're best friends...we're supposed to be able to tell each other when something's wrong and talk when we've got a problem. Why wouldn't he come to me? And if he's at his apartment now, he hasn't answered any of my phone calls...but where else could he be. I mean, if he was going away on a trip I'm sure Yamato or somebody would know about it. ERRR! Takeru..._please_ be okay...you're my best friend...I need you.

School finally ended and I ran down the hallways and outside in front of the building to meet Yamato and Taichi. In about five minutes they were there and we got into Taichi's car to drive to Takeru's apartment. I prayed the whole way there that we'd find him and that he'd be alright.

Taichi parked the car, we took the elevator up to the seventh floor, and walked down the hallway to Takeru's. Yamato fumbled with his keys before finding the right one and unlocking the door. The whole apartment was dark and silent and looked like no one had been there for weeks...that scared me. Oh gods, Takeru...be okay..._please_ be okay...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

yamato pov

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Y-Yamato...where is he?" Daisuke asked me with a really worried expression on his face. He was my brother's best friend, but I don't think he knew how Takeru really felt about him...

I put a comforting hand on his shoulder as I glanced around the apartment. "Calm down, Dai. Let's go check his bedroom...if anywhere, he's in there." Daisuke nodded, but the nervous expression stayed on his face. I had to admit, I was as scared as Daisuke was but just hid it a lot better than he did. 

I hadn't spoken to my brother in about two weeks and when Dai told me how he had been acting right before this sudden 'disappearing act', I became a bit concerned. Luckily I had my Tai-chan there for me though, and he was giving me the support I needed to keep from completely freaking out and losing my mind. He was always there to smack some sense into me when it seemed like I was losing control...what a sweetheart, my Taichi. 

And I needed his support this time...I mean, my ototouchan means so much to me...I really don't know what I'd do if anything happened to Takeru. And I certainly don't like hearing about him being all angsty and all...that's my job. There's only room for _one_ in the Ishida family to brood. 

Takeru's job is to be my carefree, always-smiling, hopeful little brother. It's so upsetting to see him slipping into this dark, depressive kind of life that I had lived. But I'm much better now, with my Taichi-chan...but a few years ago I was a mess and I've got the scars to prove it.

We cautiously made our way down the dark, empty hallway towards Takeru's room. All I could do was hope and pray that he hadn't done anything stupid like I had with that damn razor three years ago. Please Takeru-totouchan...be alright...don't be stupid like me...

I paused in front of the door and took a deep breath before opening it. The fearful look in Daisuke's eyes told me that I should go in first, so I slowly walked in and glanced around the room. Lying there on his bed, with the lights out and the shades drawn, was Takeru, just staring at the ceiling above him. Breathing a sigh of relief, I motioned for Tai-chan and Daisuke to come in.

My brother's best friend rushed across the room like lightning to his bedside. "TAKERU! Oh gods...you're okay!" He paused and shot me a concerned, troubled look, then looked back at my brother who didn't look as if he noticed us. I joined Daisuke next to the bed.

"Takeru? Hey little bro, it's me...Yama...Takeru? Totouchan? Why aren't you answering me?" I shook him in frustration as I tried to fight back tears. "DAMMIT TAKERU! SAY SOMETHING!" Then I felt my Taichi wrap his arms around me, so I turned and buried my head in his chest as he held me tightly. I could hear Dai still trying to get through to my brother to no avail and I think he was even crying softly.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

takeru pov

~~~~~~~~~~~

I vaguely noticed my door open and three people enter my room, one of them running over to my bed yelling words that didn't seem to make any sense to me. And his voice sounded so far away. Who was it? Oh gods...it was him...Daisuke...why was he here?

Then a second figure came yelling senseless words that I didn't understand. When I wouldn't answer, he started to shake me...oh, that's Yama-niichan. I'm sorry Yamato...I didn't mean to make you worry. I guess I really wasn't thinking about it. Now Yamato's gone...oh, he's in his Taichi's arms. He's lucky to have someone who cares for him so much.

Now what's that noise? And...is it raining...in the house? Oh, no...those are...tears? But, whose? They're not mine...wait a minute, they're..._Daisuke's_!? But...but, why is _he_ crying for me? I certainly don't deserve to have this beautiful creature to shed his crystal tears for me. I'm not worthy of that...so...why is he crying?

Itai! It feels like I just got the wind knocked out of me. What the...Daisuke? Now he's just collapsed onto my chest and is sobbing, clinging to me, and mumbling more incoherent words that aren't making any sense to my brain. Why do I have to have people come yelling and crying at me? And dammit Dai, _stop_ it...stop playing with my emotions like this! You don't know how I really feel about you, and you could _never_ feel the same for me! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?

I can't take it anymore. My hands clench tightly into fists and I squeeze my eyes shut screaming, "STOP IT! GO AWAY!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

daisuke pov

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh gods...why won't he answer me? I can feel him breathing and hear his heart beating since I've collapsed onto his chest sobbing. I couldn't help it...my best friend is lying here completely oblivious to me and his oniichan and everything we say to him. It's as if we're not even here! What's wrong with you, Takeru-kun? Why won't you talk to me, your best friend? Say something..._please_!

"STOP IT! GO AWAY!" Oh my gods... I jumped back as if burned and winced when Takeru finally spoke...or, rather, yelled.

"Takeru? Takeru...it's me, Dai. What's wrong?" He's lying there with his hands in tight fists and his eyes squeezed shut.

Through clenched teeth, he said, "Just go away! Leave me _alone!_"

"No! Takeru, I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's wrong...you're my best friend. I've been so worried about you, Keru. _Please_...tell me what's wrong," I pleaded with him, inching closer. I noticed a tear slide down his smooth, pale cheek. Why... why was Takeru crying?

He started to tremble a bit and I looked at him with deep concern. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Yamato-kun and Taichi-sempai had left the room. Why'd they leave _me _to deal with all of this? 

I sighed and reached out to wipe away the tears as a few more fell down Takeru's face. His eyes snapped open and he stared at me with those beautiful sapphires in shock before turning his gaze away. Wait...Takeru has beautiful eyes? Well...yeah, I guess he did now that I really looked at them...

"Wh-what are you d-doing?" he gasped out.

"You had tears...I was wiping them away..." I whispered.

His expression turned somewhat hard, almost emotionless. "You don't have to do that. Please just go away, Daisuke."

I shook my head firmly, a look of determination on my face. "No. Not until you tell me what's wrong!"

Suddenly Takeru sat up and scooted back, anger laced in his voice as he glared at me. "What's wrong? Okay...my problem is _you_!"

What? I'm the cause of all his pain? Oh gods...I'm sorry for whatever I did, Takeru... 

I blinked, my mouth hanging open in surprise. "Wh-what? _Me?"_

"_YES! YOU_! You're the reason I've been lying here half dead for however long! Well..._most_ of the reason anyway..."

"But...but, _why_? What did I _do_?" 

Takeru laughed bitterly, looking up at the ceiling then back at me. "Do you _really _want to know?" 

I nodded my head wondering what I could have possibly done to cause my best friend so much pain and upset ness. I'm so sorry Takeru...I didn't mean to hurt you, whatever I did...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

takeru pov

~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, he said he wanted to know and I'm just about crazy enough right now to actually tell him. I really don't care anymore if he feels the same way or not...nothing matters anymore.

"Okay...you're my problem, because...because, I'm in love with you, Daisuke! I've been in love with you from the moment I've _met_ you! But I knew that there was not a chance in _hell_ that you'd _ever _feel the same way about me and it just became _too _much to just be your best friend when I wanted _so _much more! So...are you happy now!?" I yelled at him.

Daisuke blinked a few times, bemused, then just stared at me. Each passing second of silence just made my heart bleed a little more. Then, he did something that I totally didn't expect...Daisuke leaned forward, cupped my face in hands and kissed me! I froze in shock before melting into the kiss, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him close and kissing him desperately.

He pushed me down onto my back, teasing my lips with his tongue and gently nibbling on the bottom one. I more than willingly parted them, letting my own tongue dart out to press and rub against his. Oh gods, was I in heaven!

Finally, we were forced to break apart to breath...stupid oxygen...and Daisuke rested his forehead against mine. We gazed into each others' eyes in momentary bliss before I breathed out, "I love you, Daisuke..."

"Why didn't you tell me?" he whispered, his warm breath tickling my skin.

I blinked and said quietly, "B-because I never thought that you could ever feel the same way about me...I thought that you would hate me..."

Daisuke smiled sweetly and lovingly at me, his gorgeous cinnamon eyes sparkling as he affectionately rubbed my cheek with his thumb. "Takeru...I could never _ever_ hate you... You mean too much to me. You're my best friend and I need you...I don't know what I'd do without you...that's why I was so scared when I didn't know what was wrong with you, because I need you in my life Keru...I-I love you...I love you _so_ much..."

I felt tears well up in the corners of my eyes as I heard him utter the three words I had been longing for him to say for so long. Grinning brightly, a few tears of joy escaped my glazed-over azure eyes, and Daisuke quickly kissed them away. 

"Please, Takeru...tell me when something is bothering you from now on? I was so worried about you...and I'll _always_ be here for you...I promise."

I nodded and whispered, "Okay...I will. I love you so much, Dai...arigato..."

He gave me a puzzled, confused look, cocking his head to the side. "Thank me...for what?"

"For coming and saving me from my stupid self pity and all...for being a great friend...for being _you_..."

Smiling softly, Daisuke kissed my forehead lightly and replied, "Anytime, my angel Takeru...anytime..."

I pulled him close to me in a tight embrace and over his shoulder I noticed my brother standing in the doorway with Taichi. Yamato was wrapped in his boyfriend's loving arms, gazing happily at me and my koibito with a warm smile on his lips. He winked at me, and I smiled back at him, my hold on Daisuke tightening. Yama-niichan and Taichi-sempai turned and left the room as I closed my eyes melting into the feeling of my Daisuke's embrace. I'm awfully glad I finally said something because sitting here in Daisuke's arms is a feeling I could really get used to. And now I'm just as lucky as niichan...I have someone loves me and really cares for me.

~*~*~THE END~*~*~


End file.
